Because I can't resist

He's so sweet when he is sleeping and since that's about all he does it's about all I have pictures of these days!

Meeting Big Mema and Big Papa

My mema and papa (Grandma and Grandpa in the south --- I know, I'm not southern, but my cousin is and the names just stuck) were in Arkansas visiting said cousin when Ben was born. We gave then a few days to rest when they got home then headed over with the whole brood to introduce then to the newest member of the family. Of course, they were smitten with him as well. Mema held him the entire time we were there.


As we were leaving I asked Papa if he wanted just a few second with the baby and of course he said yes.


My boys (and their mama) love these two and I know Ben will be no different.

S'more please

We used to camp. I hated it. Mostly because we were poor college students and we camped in a tent. That usually leaked. But the s'mores were always fun. Except when the marshmallows caught fire. Then they were kind of gross. Which is why I've decided that microwave s'mores are the ultimate way to go. Last year, my kids hated s'mores. They were too sticky. This year Nick loves them. I don't know what changed, but out of the blue tonight he asked for one. Of course I obliged ... and made one for myself. Thankfully, I'm not quite as messy as he is.



He wanted a second one, but the sweetness got to be too much halfway through so he passed the gooey treat along to Zander who wasn't supposed to be getting a snack on this particular night (that kid won't eat anything but cheese). He took two bites and decided no snack was better than this snack.


Even two bites was enough to cover him in chocolate.

Playin' at the park

Heading out of town for Memorial Day was completely out of the question but heading down the road (and around a few corners) to the school park was right up our alley. This will be Nick's playground next year. I hope having other friends around will help him keep it interesting because he already seemed kind of bored with it tonight. Not that it mattered. Just a few minutes after we got there he decided he had to go to the bathroom (he'd just went at home) so Mike took him to the gas station for a bathroom break - and to fill up my tank. YEAH!


Zander, however, is loving this little park. His daredevil ways are enough to scare the crap out of me, but he's doing it all with a grin! Tonight he managed to master these swinging poles, which had my heart racing. He about biffed it a couple times, but it never stopped him.




He also loved these little toad stool things. Don't they look totally safe? To make everything even more fun, they bounced.


This was his other new trick for the night. Visions of busted teeth and a broken nose filled my head everytime he did this.


Thankfully we all left completely unscathed.

Bottle or breast?

I know what all the experts say is best. And I am trying. But after Ben's two-week check-up, the concern about his weight and my concern for my sanity I really don't know what is best for us anymore. I had Nick between two and four weeks early, before I could take a class on nursing. I was unprepared and never really committed to nursing him so I was happy to make it four or five weeks with him. When Zander was born I was prepared and ready to nurse/pump for as long as possible. We made it ten months and didn't start supplementing with formula until eight months or so when my supply dwindled because of inconsistent pumping at work. My goal was the same for Ben.

But, life with three little ones is stressful and all the studies show that stress can take a toll on your milk supply. So does my inability/lack of desire for consuming what feels like an ocean of water every day. I do my best, and sometimes I do OK, but it really doesn't seem to matter. I just can't get my supply to be where it needs to be to satisfy Ben's appetite. So ... after realizing that the reason he wasn't falling asleep at night was hunger (he conked out for four hours after one formula bottle at 10 p.m.) and wanting to ensure his weight gain is enough to satisfy the doctor I've decided to exclusively pump for right now to ensure he is getting all he needs (about four ounces every two to three hours during the day).

I hate pumping. I always have, even with Zander. So now, instead of being tied to the couch nursing for 30 to 45 minutes every two to three hours I am feeding him a bottle on that same schedule and pumping every two hours (when I am home and the older boys will allow it). And it is because of all of this that I am ready to throw in the towel. I hate pumping (did I say that already?). But, I hate the idea of giving up more. So every day I go back and forth in my head about what to do. On the good days, when I am keeping up with his need and the boys are at daycare, I think I can do it. Then, on days when the boys are home or we have doctor appointments and errands to run, I wonder why I even bother. Mentally and emotionally this topic is draining me. I've cried. I've lashed out at Mike and the boys because I am constantly consumed by this. And reading all of this I wonder why I even bother. But I know why.


Because when it works it makes all those headaches worth it. My goal now is to get through the next two weeks until the next doctor's appointment. At that point I will reasses based on his weight and my mental status.

Sleeping beauty

When this little guy is well-fed he can sleep for hours. Seriously. I have woken up in the middle of the night in a panic because I've been sleeping for four hours. That is almost unheard of with a newborn. Not that I'm complaining of course. And if I pull him into bed with me (save the chastising, I know it's not recommended) he could (and has) gone even longer. Most nights he eats before bed sometimes between 10 and 11, then will wake up for a night time snack between 3 and 4. The older boys regularly wake me up by 6, but he usually keeps right on sleeping through until 7. If only I could do something to keep the older boys in bed that long. Life would be almost perfect.

I'm still trying

It's not always easy, but I am trying very hard to continue to plan fun things for Nick and Zander on the days they are home with me. I slacked off during the final months of my pregnancy and it has been hard to get back into the swing of things now that Ben is here, but every once in awhile we manage to do something fun. And every once in awhile the boys manage to do something fun together - even better.

My mom bought this Cranium game for Nick when he was about three. Then she "forgot" about it under her bed. When she finally discovered it last fall she decided she might as well pass it along to him then. It's a cute enough game and even Zander can play (though he didn't really like the rules) so it's a winner in my book.


Then there was the morning Zander wanted to finger paint. I thought it would be easier to just let them paint in the tub so I made some shaving cream paints and let them loose.



I was VERY wrong about it being easier. The last time I did this Zander was the only one in the tub and he kept everything relatively clean. Having both of them in there together resulted in a much bigger mess than finger paints have ever caused. And to make matters worse the food coloring appears to left a very faint stain on my tub. It didn't do that last time. I thought it was going to stain my bathroom rug, too, but a quick wash and a Tide Stain Release packet had it looking like new by the end of the day. Doesn't the bathroom look pretty? I had to clean the tub four times with three different cleaners to get almost everything off the walls.


Water colors are a much cleaner option. Zander had never used water colors before and seemed to like the idea. I'm guessing I will like it until one of them spills the dirty paint water on my floor.




Hopefully I can continue to keep them busy throughout the summer.

2 weeks

I can't believe how fast the last two weeks have flown by! Those I talk to in real life know that I was worried because I hadn't really bonded with babe number three in utero. I just didn't have time to really think about it. But, let me say that appears to be a problem of the past. I'm absolutely loving this little guy and taking advantage of all the quiet moments I can with him.

Today was the little bean's first well-baby visit and I thought everything was going well, but after today I'm not so sure. Apparently Ben's jaundice is getting better, but he still isn't gaining weight fast enough. He weighed 8 pounds at delivery and about 7 pounds 6 ounces when we left the hospital. He should have been back up to his birth weight by today, but he hadn't quite reached it yet. According to the first scale he was only 7 pounds 8 ounces (a digital scale). Our pediatrician was concerned because that was even less than when he came in at one week for a jaundice check. He decided to weigh him again, this time on the old fashion slide scale, and he was 7 pounds ll ounces. Better but not enough.

So ... we are coming back in two weeks for a weight-only check. The pediatrician isn't overly concerned because it is obvious he is absorbing something since the jaundice is better, but if there is a problem he doesn't want to wait until 2 months to find it. He did not tell me to supplement with formula, but I am considering it anyway. I'm wondering if hunger is why he is sometimes cranky at night. For now, I am just going to focus on feeding him as much as possible with whatever I need to to make sure he is at least one pound heavier when we return to the doctor's office.

Hittin' the trails

Nick is constantly begging us to go on a bike ride, but it can't be just any bike ride around the neighborhood. He wants to go on the trails and to a park, which is a minimum hour and a half endeavor with him. Now that school is out and bedtimes aren't as strict (thank you maternity leave) bike rides are possible during the week. Even though we bought gear for the whole family last year I am unable to go this year because of Ben, but Mike has been a trooper and taken them a couple of times.

On this particular night I started to get worried that something had happened. They left shortly after dinner (we eat early) and didn't return until nearly dark. Nick was stoked about the long outing.


Zander was just pooped.


And he doesn't even have to do anything! Lazy little bum. (It's hard to see in the black and white, but he has his belt clasp in his little hand. It must have come undone while he was riding, but he fell asleep trying to get it back in. Good for him for trying to be safe.)

Another day, another scrape (Part 2)

Zander's poor face is turning into one heck of a mess. The scrape on his cheek still hasn't healed completley and today he came inside with a new set of scrapes. I'm not quite sure what happened as I was inside with Ben, but what I was able to piece together was that he was riding his bike down a neighbor's driveway and his training wheels got off balance. Then he fell off. Yet, somehow he only hit the bit of skin between his nose and upper lip and a small piece of his cheek. Wouldn't logic tell you that if he scraped up those parts of his face that his nose should have been a mess too, you know since it actually juts out from his face. But, thankfully, his nose and teeth were just fine. And the only reason he was crying in this picture was because he didn't want me to take the picture.


Here's one that shows the damage a little clearer.

Oh brother

That's what I think everytime the kids get near Ben. They love the little guy dearly, but sometimes it is just too much. They constantly want to be in his face touching him and poking him and then holding him. But, then I guess that is better than having to worry about them wanting to get rid of him in the trash.


I love this picture of my three wonderful boys. I only wish Ben didn't have that dang bib halfway covering his face.

A farewell to preschool

Nick's preschool class celebrated their last day of school with a trip to the park for snacks and some free playtime. The preschool parents were all invited to join the fun. Despite rain clouds threatening to ruin the fun the kids made the walk down to the park. I felt bad because I didn't send Nick to school with a sweatshirt or jacket and it was kind of chilly. But, once snack time was over and they got to playing he didn't seem to mind.

For the record: He has NOT mastered the art of jumping rope just yet.


Nick is always the little helper and even the draw of the outdoors isn't enough to keep him from offering his teachers an extra hand. I only wish he was so thoughtful at home.


And of course what kid doesn't love the parachute? I just like this picture because it shows just how big Nick is compared to his classmates.


Once the official school sanctioned event was over the kids with parents present all bum rushed this slide. One of Nick's classmates (the cute little one I caught him holding hands with at the fire station) broke her wrist on the school playground and since then all the preschool kids have been banned from the equipment. Seems like a pretty crappy deal to me, but I'm guessing they have good reason to make that rule.


At the end of the morning I had to go in and pay my last daycare bill (for this year). All of Nick's daycare friends had to come and see the baby. Nick was quick to play the role of protective brother telling all his friends they couldn't touch and they had to be quiet.

He's gonna miss them

Nick's preschool days are numbered, which means his days with four of his favorite teachers are also coming to an end. I don't know if he realizes just what the end of preschool means yet, but he will soon enough.

This is Miss Lisa. She has been his favorite daycare teacher for the last two years. On his second day in class she was the one who held him close when he was crying and refusing to walk across the hall to his preschool classroom. She's the one he is always helping with the laundry or making copies or just doing little things around the room. And she's the one who brings him special snacks when she knows that a parent who is bringing treats for a party might forget to read the label. She's a gem and I know I will miss her, too.


This is Miss Katherine. She's the one that helps Miss Lisa in the daycare room. And she's the one that is only a few inches taller (and probably only a few pounds heavier) than Nick. But, she is still good for a hug at the end of every day.


This is the preschool teacher formerly known as Miss H (her last name was too hard for the kids) and now known as Mrs. Counsell. She got married last fall, but many of the kids still call her Miss H. She's the one I foolishly told I had a shy child and who told me during our first conference that Nick was doing great in class, was a big helper and while quiet (really? My Nick?) not all that shy. This was her first year teaching and judging by Nick's progress I'd give her an A.


This is the other Miss H, though the kids all call her Miss Hildebrand. She's been with Nick's preschool class for two years now and is a wonderful paraeducator.


I can only hope that he has such a warm, caring group of individuals looking out for him and teaching him in kindergarten next year.

All eyes on Nick

Another t-ball season has come to an end. And while I am happy to see it go (it's just too crazy right now with the new baby) I know Nick is going to miss having everyone come out to see him play. He's already informed me he wants to play again later this summer and of course, I agreed. I just need to remember to get him signed up. I think Mike even liked helping the coach out.

As for Nick's ball skills --- he is getting better at making contact with the ball, though everyone agrees the tee is just too short for him. Oh, and the helmets are still too small. My mom says we need to go buy him his own before the next season. I think it might be a good idea. There were a few nights I thought we would end up in the ER with his ear in our hands the darn helmets were so hard to get off.


Mike is trying to help him with his speed. He thinks this stance will help. The other kids think Nick is trying to give them five. I watched no less than three players come up and hit Nick's hand when it was hanging out like this. But, it does seem to be working. The boy has definitely picked up some speed since last year.



And while he still isn't the most coordinated catcher he at least looks like he is ready for the ball. One time it even landed right in his glove. I think he was just as stunned as the rest of us. At least we know what to work on before July.

Could it be?

Tonight was our last night of Kindermusik for the spring and maybe forever. Nick has grown out of the class and life is just getting so busy I'm not sure if we will re-enroll for the fall session or not. It makes me a little sad to think that Ben may never know the fun of Kindermusik, but we will just have to wait and see.

Even though he's only a week old Ben has already been to one of Nick's t-ball games and of course we had to bring him to Kindermusik tonight. The whole class was super excited to meet him, but none moreso than the only little girl in our class, Elsie. This little doll stood over his seat almost the entire night and couldn't help but touch when I finally got him out for her to see.


Apparently he was a little hungry as he tried to nibble on Miss Cassie's shoulder. She gently explained that he wouldn't find anything there.


Our all boy (except Elsie) class is pretty rambunctious, but also amazingly well-behaved (is that possible?). They usually listen to Miss Cassie and follow directions as well as any 2- to 5-year-olds can be expected to do.




Zander's favorite part of class is the Good-bye song, when he gets to shake everyone's hand and give out hugs. He always tries to find little Elsie first.


The older boys even get into the music with a group hug. :) Seconds later they were on the floor in what looked more like a wrestling match/pig pile than a friendly hug. But, hey, at least they all like each other.


And no Kindermusik class would be complete without an after-class trip through the bike rack. Nick fell just seconds after I snapped this picture and bumped his chin on the bars ending that fun. Thankfully it didn't leave a mark.